As a customer service rep, I have to bite my sarcastibitch tongue a LOT in order to keep my job which i really do love.
Here are some of my questions and their answers and then the responses I wish I could give:
Q: Will you be using machinery to dig? (Its a yes or no question people)
A: A small excavator
Is that a midget with a shovel or a small child?
Q: Have you marked the area in white? (again yes or no)
A: Yes, its marked in orange (or green or blue or purple)
Well, orange is not white so so I am going to put no
Same question as above
A: The crew is on site.
Unless the crew on site has marked it in white not red green orange or purple the answer is no dipshit
Q: What day to you plan on digging?
A: I'm in no hurry
So I can put you down for three years from now?
Q: What street touches your street absolutely closest to your house
A: There isn't one
So do you parachute to your house, because you obviously can't drive there without a street connecting to yours
Q: What type of work will you be doing?
A: Excavation
Really? Imagine that! Calling in to a call before you dig center and you are going to be digging? fucking amazing!
Now, like the cable company, there is not a set time that the utilities will be responding to the dig request. Because we notify ALL utilities and they send out their own people to mark, the legal response time is 2 full business days not including the day the call is made. So if you call us today, they have all day tomorrow and all day Monday until 11:59 PM (that is 1 minute before midnight for those who are chronologically challenged). I explain this to all of the first time callers and home owners just the same way I explained it to you all.
Still, before the end of the call, I get asked,
When do you think they will be here?
Due to budget cuts, they have taken away my crystal ball.
Because my tongue is now full of teeth marks and bleeds a lot, I have been able to keep my
please vote for me
25 comments:
bwhahahahaha!
Parachute to your house. That's funny.
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Which call center do you contact if you want to hire a midget with a shovel?
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Always happy to give you a morning chuckle
Recent blog post: Sarcasm just one of the many free services I offer
Yeah.. I think so too.. too bad my boss doesn't see it that way
Recent blog post: Sarcasm just one of the many free services I offer
Maybe Midget Excavators R Us? I'll have to look into that and get back with you
Recent blog post: Sarcasm just one of the many free services I offer
Do you think they will be there today?
Sorry, couldn't resist.
I have to be very careful about my sarcastic tendencies sometimes!
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Not with me!! I LOVE every minute of it
Recent blog post: Sarcasm just one of the many free services I offer
My friends and I laugh a lot because when we go out to dinner, it never fails the waiter (usually a young male) will ask "how do you know each other?" and we'll say "we met in a moms group" and then he'l say... "oh, you're moms. so you all have kids?" um, yes, that's what usually qualifies a woman as a MOM!
"chronologically challenged"
I love it! That was fun-neeeee!
Sucks that you have to put up with that kind of idiocy, but you make it sound so fun (after the fact). heh heh
Yeah, sarcasm and random people on the phone don't mix... however they should.
There are so many times where I just want to ask them "Do you even know what you are doing?"
I commend you for being able to bite your tongue like that. Stupid questions drive me insane....no wonder you've been there for nine years! You are a HERO! ;-)
Hope you had a great mother's day!! :-)
And fancy fancy comment deal here - what is it?
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Wooooooooooooow! Not the brightest crayons in the shed are they
HEHE I loved that phrase too. The idiocy is what keeps me sane. (after the fact)
But can you imagine how many times a day we would have to ask that? Thanks for coming by my blog I will visit yours after work
Well thanks.. but if these people only knew how much I made fun of them after the call lol
It is a JS-Kit feature. I was WAY to complicated for what I wanted to set up, I keep contemplating on whether or not to keep it. You can click on the "powered by JS Kit" link below if you want to check it out
9 years, I'm impressed but come on don't ya let one slip now & then?
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Gotta love it!
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Bite marks can be hell on a tongue. So you should probably get a tongue protector. I had to get one for myself for when I'd be recording bad singers and they'd constantly ask, "How did that sound?"
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man you always crack me up
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Actually, yes. A customer was telling me that a road did not intersect wither her road. Since she was local (we take care of the whole state) and I grew up in the area she lives, when she said, "But it doesn't intersect"
I said, "But it does you see" Luckily, one of the equally immature, sarcastic team leaders happened to be "listening for quality assurance" she told me it was a little TOO sarcastic even for her
Recent blog post: Sarcasm just one of the many free services I offer
The only reason I keep going back to that place is to find out what the hell is going to happen next
Recent blog post: Sarcasm just one of the many free services I offer
ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I might look into that one. Thanks for the tip!
Recent blog post: Sarcasm just one of the many free services I offer
I try ;)
Recent blog post: Sarcasm just one of the many free services I offer
Although it would be a blast doing your job, I would probably be fired very quickly because I, unlike you, could not bite my tongue...
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