Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Phase 1 Punishment Complete

We own a rental property. It was built for my husband's family 23 years ago. It was a big house and at one time or another, we all lived in it. This includes his grandparents, parents, his sister, her husband and 3 kids, his brother, wife and 1 kid, myself and my hubby and 2 kids. Now our good friends, mother, 2 kids, and my nephew (included in the mentions above) are living there now. Keep this in mind as you read my twisted tale of revenge, dished out by my husband.

To get you up to speed click here and here
Or lemme summarize it for you because I hardly ever click past links either. The Boy failing classes, he knows he is failing, doesn't do anything to keep it from happening. The Boy skipped classes to be with his girlfriend. The Boy got busted by his sister. He has been grounded-duh since report cards came out about a month ago. OK all caught up.. good.

So, we get a call on Monday of all days from our friends/tenants saying there is a problem. My husband, who had been pouring concrete that day went to the house after he got home to identify the problem. He starts digging up the yard. That's right, the septic had backed up. YAY.

He is out there until 9:30 at night trying to see if he can snake out the pipes. It didn't work. Yesterday, hubby made The Boy stay home from school. I had the day off to take my dog to the vet. Before daylight, hubs had The Boy digging up the septic tank.
All day long hubs asked him Cool Hand Luke style, "Why is your dirt in my hole?" The boy would reply with "I dunno Boss"
I went there after the appointment to discover that the tank was full o shit. Over the top full. It apparently had NEVER been pumped out. In 23 years. So they were waiting on the truck to pump it out.

I took the dog home. At about 2:45, I took my daughter to school (she didn't go either), because she had rehearsal for Drama Club. She is tech manager, she couldn't miss it.

After I dropped her off, I went back to the house to see if the truck had arrived. It had. My husband was in the front yard talking to no one while rinsing off the flashlight. I asked him where the boy was. I heard a stomping type echo under my feet. He said, with a big grin "He's down there" I looked and sure enough, The Boy was in the septic tank. Imagine my delight when I was able to take this pic:
(Those are gloves on his hands)
He called me a bitch for taking it, I wonder why?. I did it while pointing and laughing. "See what happens when you give us shit? You get it back in the form of 23 years worth of your family's shit, including your own Now you know what it means to dish it out AND take it" This includes the aforementioned nephews more recent deposits.
He had to go down there to shovel out the sludge that the truck couldn't get. This is the same boy who gags if he has to clean up a nasty mess his dog left for him. There were condoms (No one wants to fess up to those) some type of wipe (that is not supposed to be flushed) He also said he saw lots of corn.

Once he was out, I was able to take this pic:

After I was done pointing, laughing and not feeling the least bit sorry for him, I went home and got him a change of clothes. I found the most appropriate shirt


I told him shoveling shit is what he is going to end up doing for the rest of his life if he doesn't START thinking, and STOP being lazy.

They got done putting it all back together at about 8PM, then The Boy and our friend's "The Boy" had to fill in the hole. So with beer in hand, hubs and the other dad supervised. "Why is your dirt on my ground" "I dunno boss" Don't foget dear son WE ALWAYS WIN!

Surprisingly, my boy was able to eat dinner.

I like that I don't have to dish out the punishment... hubs is much more evil and sinister at it than I.


Under the Influence said...

Hopefully it will work! Otherwise things are looking pretty shitty for him. : )

dizzblnd said...

LMAO!! That was a good one! I hope something sinks in soon.

ReformingGeek said...

"lots of corn". Good one!

Next time Boy acts out, hand him the shovel. Have the picture made into next year's calendar.

dizzblnd said...

RG.. Good Idea. We are also going to publish these in his Sr Yearbook next year hehehehhe

Anonymous said...

Man, this story is so full of shit, I can hardly believe it!

Hah, I've always wanted to write that and have it be true and non-condescending.

Keely said...

What is corn MADE out of, anyway??

That seems appropriate punishment. I hope it works for ya!

Chele said...

this is great! love the pics, best pic ever

SkylersDad said...

Nice parenting style, you are my new hero!

dizzblnd said...

canadian! I am have to have fulfilled 1 fantasy thanks for stopping by I will be checking you out later ;)

Keely: I am pretty sure it is made out of the same material as cockroaches

Chele: I was giddy like a school girl when I took them

WYD: Thank you. I will borrow keely's un-mom cape and wear it proudly

Jenn Thorson said...

And just think how many years you can get value from that photo.

1.) Your blog
2.) To show his prom date on prom night
3.) His wedding

Things just keep giving.

dizzblnd said...

Ohhhhh Jenn how right you are. He already won't tell his girlfriend (who also skips classes) where he was yesterday. I told him you need to tell her so she quits influencing you to do bad things. Yeah.. cuz my boy is an angel

Anonymous said...

Sounds like my boy had a shitty day
Grandma Dee

Anonymous said...

Paybacks are hell. Chuck says the boy got the shitty job

dizzblnd said...


Jen said...

I'm sending my son to spend some quality time with your hubs. I send him with pizza. This was sooo funny. There is parental justice and even if I never get it I will die happy knowing you did!

Poetry Sue said...

I'm writting that down in my book of "things other parents are doing that you need to remember about when your kid gets to be that age" Damn that was funny

dizzblnd said...

Jen... if you want, don't forget to punch holes in the box when you ship him. That would be hard to explain to the authorities otherwise ;) I knew other parents out there would enjoy this revenge story

Sue. Please feel free to add it :) I swear I will stop by your blog soon, I am sorry I have been neglecting you

The Queen said...

Real Life Fairy Princess, thought one night it would be a very bright idea to get stink bomb drunk..stagger home...and lip off...(her Jr. year in high school)

Not a bright Idea..

Daddy Dearest decided at 5 AM.. was the exact time to saddle horses, round up cows.. and brand calves.

Nothing stinks worse with a hangover than burning calf hair..

Yea.. cured her of bright ideas..

Anonymous said...

Congrates. You have made the news.

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