I got my birth certificate in the mail last week and was horrified to learn I was NOT adopted. I also learned that I was not born, but dispensed like a Pez candy. Not in a hospital, but in a Naval Weapons Center. Yes.. I can hear you all! It does explain EVERYTHING you all have come to learn about me doesn't it? Seriously, on my birth certificate, it says "Place of Birth.. Dispensary", like I was a developed weapon or some shit. "Street address.. Naval Weapons Center. " Which happens to be in the middle of a desert on California. Growing up, I used to tell my friends that I was born in the middle of the Sahara Desert. Because that was the only named desert I knew.
Why am I just now getting my birth certificate? My mom says she gave me my birth certificate when I go married, but I don't remember, and I don't have it so I was just hoping against hope that I was indeed adopted. The problem with that theory is that I am too much like both of them not to be adopted. Now I am assuming it was my brother who was adopted, because he's not like any of us. I haven't seen his birth certificate though.
Anyway, I was a dumbass at let my drivers license expire. I got online to renew it and guess what? You got it! It wasn't that easy. Due to the new Homeland Security laws put in place, you need so much more. In Florida, you need birth certificate, marriage license (if your last name changed), social security card (or a tax document showing SS number) 2 proofs of residence (state issued ID's wont work) you need a utility or mortgage bill, car or voters registration, bank statement etc.) I also didn't have (because I never ordered it) my marriage license. Luckily, you can order these documents on-line, no matter what state you are in now, or in what state the event happened. Mine all came within a week of ordering them a day BEFORE my appointment. THAT, my friends is a miracle all in itself. I NEVER have that kind of luck. Before all of this happened, I was thinking about legally changing my name to 'Murphy Murphy Murphy' just to accommodate the law my life has been living. When I saw the paperwork required just to renew my license though, I quickly changed my mind.
When I got to the DMV there was a long line ahead of me...SURPRISE! But I had an appointment. The 9 people in front of me, didn't have all the required documents they needed.
PS Go check out my daughters blog. She picked a helluva a topic to make her blog-comeback