Saturday, June 6, 2009

and you people wonder why I'm mental..

If you have ever wanted to see me in my bra holding a pussy, you need to go theck out my daughter's video blog. I will wait.. it is hilarious and not as kinky as it sounds.... perverts. Just make sure you comment, then come back here to read my post:

This is part of a conversation I had with a contractor calling before they dig:

I verified all of their company mailing information, she said "Yes, that's correct"

I asked her another question and she said.. "Wait, I don't think the mailing address for our company is correct, what do you have?"

I read it again. She says "I don't know where you got that information, but that is wrong"

Through clenched teeth I said "Oh I'm sorry that is the info that was already in our system for your company, when I read it to you, you said it was correct"

Like the bitch she is she said, "Well it's not correct, I need to change it"

So we changed it.

I then asked her who the field contact would be if any questions should arise.

She gave me a first name. We have to have 1st and last name. She puts me on hold to get and answer. I was on hold F O R E V E R. After 3 minutes, we are allowed to hang up on the dumbass release the call. After 2 minutes and 52 seconds, she returns with the last name and phone number.

I asked a couple of more questions, she answered.. then says

"Wait, what do you mean by field contact"

Muting her and letting out an exasperated sigh, I took her off mute and said "The person in the field they can contact if there are any questions."

She says "From my company?"

I said "WHOEVER!"

"Oh well let me change that then, I gave you the number for a homeowner in that community"


Moving on..

I asked, "How deep will you be digging at the deepest?"

"Yes we will be digging"


"OOOOOOOOOK.. and how deep will you be digging at the deepest?"

"10 inches"

Thank you, and will you be using machinery to dig?"

"OH we're not digging."

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?" "Well then, there is no reason to have this service then. This is call before you dig. We charge the utilities to go out and mark the lines so you won't cut into them when you dig"

"Well, obviously aren't going to be digging where the lines are marked, but we need to know where they are first"

No shit Sherlock, that is the reason for this service" "Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight that's purpose of this free service"

"We are going to be digging 6in"

I wish these calls weren't recorded

"So 6in not 10in?"


"And will you be using machinery to dig?"

"I don't know"

"Ok, I will put "yes" to be on the safe side"

"What do you mean by machinery"


"Anything that is powered by a machine and not a shovel"

"Oh yes.. we will be using a backhoe"


Moving on, I successfully get county city and address. Then I ask for the intersecting street closest to the address.

I get the standard "There isn't one"

I give the standard "dumbass" reply, "It has to come off of some road somewhere."

"Oh it's.. Smith Rd"

"Is that within 1/4 mile from the property?"


"Approx how far is it then?"

If you are wondering, this is NOT me being bitchy, I HAVE to know in order to notify the correct utilities

"I'll have to put you on hold to find out"

"Thank you"

At this point I wrapped my headset cord around my neck stood up in my chair and threatened to jump. Really, I did! A cool teamleader/friend threatened to beat my ass if I didn't get down. She's kinda scary, so I did.

After 2 minutes and 43 seconds on hold , she comes back.

"It's not within a 1/4 mile, it's at the NW corner of the intersection."

Right about then, my brain exploded at the stupidity of this woman.

After I wiped the gray matter of of my monitor, I mumbled something about "at the corner IS within 1/4 mile"

When I asked what part of the property she was digging, she didn't know. She didn't bother to put me on hold this time, she just yelled "Where will we be digging"

The reply, "At the guard shack" So I asked "In the front, the rear, the side? What part of the guard shack?"

"Where the white spray painted lines are"

I said I don't see your white lines on the map, I have to tell the utilities specifically where you will be digging."

She said, "Oh well the rain might have washed away the white lines and that's why you can't see them."

Shoot me now

I said "Nooooooooooooooooooo I can't see them because I am sitting in an office at a computer 7 counties north of where you plan to dig. So what part of the guard shack do you need marked.

"The whole thing"

"Is the address you gave me the address for the guard shack?"

"No, that the address for a house inside the community"

I'm ready to jump again

"Then I will take the address off because it has nothing to do with the area you are digging"

"Well how are the going to find it then?"

"Didn't you tell me the guard shack was at the NW corner of Smith Rd and Williams St?"

"Yes, but that's not where it is"

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? "Then where is the guard shack?"

"I don't know"

I said, "Can I speak to the person you have been asking all of the questions?"


"Because it seems he is more knowledgeable about the job site than you are, it would just be easier for me to speak to them"

With a sigh, she yells "SHE WANTS TO SPEAK WITH YOU"

He get's on the phone asked me what the problem is. I explain what I needed to know. He tells me, "The guard shack is at 2000 Williams St"
I explained to him that she told me that address was a house inside the community.

He said, "No ma'am that is address is the actual address for the guard shack."

"Thank you, you can put her back on the phone now."

I finished the call and went on break.

Now do you understand why I need chocolate Vicodin, Valium and Vodka?


otin said...

I deal with shit like that constantly, I hate the whole locating utilities thing!!

Recent blog post: Otin's Blogger Roast of Hit 40 (Eileen)

dizz said...

I know.. most contractors do, most don't understand that the person they are talking to does not mark lines, that we simply transfer the info to the utilities. We see the standard yahoo map (not satellite or hybrid) Our call center isn't allowed to go to helpful sites like mapquest or yahoo maps to help us help the customer. It's frustrating.

Recent blog post: and you people wonder why I'm mental..

quirkyloon said...


Quirky hands over a loaded vicodin shake to Dizzie.

Enjoy GF, you deserve it!

Recent blog post: I Don't Understand < del> Loser < /del>

ReformingGeek said...

Oh my. I hope you got all the grey matter of your screen, you poor thing.

Does it seem like there are more and more stupid people that are employed? I just don't get it.

Recent blog post: Cooking up Bloggers Shawn and Meg!

dizz said...

mmmmmmmmmmm vicodin shake I need the recipe!

Recent blog post: and you people wonder why I'm mental..

dizz said...

Why yes... yes it does. OH I can't wait to read your roast.. they never disappoint!

Recent blog post: and you people wonder why I'm mental..

Hit 40 said...

Try to teach the youth the quadratic formula~!! Then we will fucking talk about annoying!!!!!!!!!

Recent blog post: A ROAST!!! And you are all invited!!

AD said...

Ahahahaha. I think these stories of your workplace are what are keeping me away from working there. Thank you.

dumbaaaass poooocket. :D

Recent blog post: NEW TWB: UP CLOSE & PERSONAL EPISODE! You'll want to see this, trust me.

dizz said...

Right? I can only imagine. I don't understand why all teachers aren't bald from pulling hteir hair out!

Recent blog post: and you people wonder why I'm mental..

dizz said...

I do it to protect you! You're welcome

Recent blog post: and you people wonder why I'm mental..

Mr Condescending said...

omygod what idiots!

Recent blog post: Fun with wheelchairs!

dizz said...

you have no idea!

Recent blog post: and you people wonder why I'm mental..

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

OMG. You are an angel. There is no way in heaven or hell that I could have kept my cool, recorded or not. Why are people like that allowed to live? How do they even survive????

Recent blog post: Romance At Its Finest

dizz said...

I'm just not sure Mary. I don't mind if they are allowed to live, they just shouldn't be able to talk to anyone in an attempted intelligent conversation!

Recent blog post: and you people wonder why I'm mental..

Skylers Dad said...

Please thank your daughter for posting that video with you included. That was the best thing to happen to me in weeks, the wind beneath my toocus!

dizz said...

LOL! I am glad you enjoyed it.. sorry it wasn't a sexier bra.

Recent blog post: and you people wonder why I'm mental..

AD said...

It was my pleasure, SD. :]

Recent blog post: NEW TWB: UP CLOSE & PERSONAL EPISODE! You'll want to see this, trust me.

Douglas said...

I don't know...I think I love her. She is very easily confused, doesn't really care where you dig a hole, and she can't tell the difference between six inches and ten inches.

Recent blog post: 5 Photo Captions - Dalai Lama

Beth said...

Sadly, these people are procreating and sending their best to school. I know. I work with their children.

Recent blog post: Good Grief

Shelly said...

Yep, that's why we have Shotz, for when you get out of hell, I mean work. Douglas by the way is a very funny one! :)) Fun group!

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