Thursday, March 19, 2009

Hormone Hostage

I think I have come down with know .. Lazy Blogger Syndrome. Here is another email goodie:

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a
man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own
hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's
license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some M&M's.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some M&M's.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars..
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some M&M's.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some M&M's .

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some more M&M's.

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff........
And my favorite one.....
13. Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a
good laugh! Or men who need a warning!

And remember: Money talks...but M&M's sing.

Another thing to giggle about. My husband, not happy with my mood
swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to
monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a
bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time
he'll buy me diamonds. Here have some M&M's.


Under the Influence said...

I think we are all suffering from "Winter Brain" - you know, frozen and not working. Thank goodness tomorrow is the FIRST DAY OF SPRING!

dizzblnd said...

wooooooohooooooooo maybe THEN the new spring line of clothing will come out.

Shawn said...

lol @ "I've always loved you in that robe". Definitely feeling the laziness bug, too.

ReformingGeek said...

;-) Monthly? But I feel that way all the time!

Anonymous said...

Well that's what the hubby gets for askin'!

heh heh

yum yum yum M&Ms!!!!

SkylersDad said...

I would rather walk into a Serbian minefield than enter the house during PMS time!

dizzblnd said...

Shawn: Now you know EXACLY what to say at all times. You're welcome

RG: Yeah... me too.. but it's always a good excuse to each chocolate

QL: I keep telling mine I will get a mood ring if he isn't careful!

Chris: I have a Serbian minefield in my back yard (in the form of dog poo piles) ... you are welcom anytime!

Mike said...

I can't wait till it's legal to lock ya'll up during that time.

It'll make the world a safer place ;)

Poetry Sue said...


dizzblnd said...

Mike.. I hate to have to agree with you.. but I think you are right asshole.. now wheres my damned M & M's?

Sue.. so you can relate huh?

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