Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Have a "happy period?"

I posted this a while back but thought I'd share it again with some updated links

What the hell kind of a sadistic male moron thought of this stupid oxymoron.
Apparently, he was raised by his father, has no sisters, lived in a cave all of his life and is either gay, unmarried, no kids, never dated or all of the above. OR
It's some bitch that came up with that stupid phrase and has found the best drugs, (ok she's not a bitch, and she didn't coin the phrase) is hoarding them and refuses to share her secret stash. Either way, I wanna take out my handgun and go on a rampage throw my TV out the window when that commercial comes on.

I hate when that bitch Aunt Flo visits. She is due here any day. I do not really keep track of when this unwanted visitor is due for her next visit. (My family can sure as hell tell) What I do notice, (after she gets here) is that the week before she visits, I am accident prone. I drop almost everything I pick up (sometimes more than once)knock shit off the table, desk or any other flat surface, I bang my head, I hit my knee, my elbows get slammed into walls... I give myself a fat lip with my cell phone (don't ask) you get the picture. I get so many bruises I look like I'm an abused housewife. Normally, I am not like this, but I do recall last month having the same problem right before the bitch gets here. Then once she's here.. I somehow find my grace. Weird huh?

I also get REALLY tired.. I get very angry, bitchy, cranky, irritable, unlivablewith, boo-hooey as well.. it sucks.. men don't know how lucky they are. I have to control myself to keep from killing everyone in the house because they are pissing me off so bad! I remind me (and my family, I'm sure) of Katie Kaboom You remember her don't you? The psycho, unstable ready to blow at any minute teenager. Well, that's me, only in adult form.

Sometimes I come home early from work. It's either that or I bite everyone's head off especially when on the phone with one of these idiots and risk getting fired, or come home, take a Valium and chill here with you guys. I would love a big ole bottle of Valium and lots of vodka in my desk drawer, however, they frown upon that kind of thing at work. Bastards.

I have endometriosis . It is VERY painful for the first 2-3 days of the cycle. I want to rip my ovaries out. Valium seems to be the only thing that helps during the initial 3 days... then I am "ok" again... (whatever OK is) Now I see why moms of the 60's and 70's and even now are addicted.

If only everyone would do things MY way for the rest of my life1 week, the world would be a better place.


Beth said...

I had an endometrial ablation (which is just a big word for burning the lining of your uterus out of town) done about 6 months ago. Now my monthly is a surprise and only lasts about a day. Everyone in the house is happy how this turned out.

I give it two tampons up!

dizzblnd said...

hmmmmm i might look into that thanks

Dan Brantley said...

I was going to make a comment, but I'm a guy and maybe it's best if I just go huntin' or somethin' for a few days.

dizzblnd said...

Dan you are a VERY wise man! Confusious must be a relative of yours ;)

ReformingGeek said...

OUCH! I have heard so much about endometriosis and feel very fortunate that I don't have it.

I used to work with someone with a very bad PMS problem. We kept a calendar and kept clear.

dizzblnd said...

RG: It REALLY sucks. I had it removed once, but it just comes back. Pretty much everyone steers clear unless they don't like their heads attached

SkylersDad said...

My wife is going through menopause right now. Just you wait!

dizzblnd said...

WYD: I BEG for early menopause

Anonymous said...

My gyno laughed when I told him I was still getting my period while on the pill -- apparently, those little placebo pills that bring on your period (because you stop the flow of baby batter beating drugs) are totally optional. Now I just skip 'em, go right to the next pack and don't even fool with a period. Doc says that unless I need it for psychological reasons (i.e. Yay! Not Pregnant!) that it's a "false" period anyhow.
4 years now, never been happier... AND I lost 5 lbs.

Mary Moore said...

Oh, I can SO relate.

Definitely, a man put that freaking commercial together. No woman in her right mind would have.

Holly Hall said...

I have the mirena IUD in. I haven't had a period in like a year and half.

I think this might be worth looking into.

man, I do so enjoy having a fellow mommy blogger follower.

so very cool to share the love here.


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