Arachnophobia much?

My husband Don HATES spiders. Absolutely hates them like a fat girl hates dodgeball.
Me? Snakes, spiders, lizards, don't bother me. When I was growing up, my dad would always save them from my mom when they got in the house or anywhere near her. I helped him.

Enough about me..

His fear is not just your ordinary "Eek" fear. Its an exaggerated fear. Let me explain.

After we got married, we rented a house. I was with child and pregnant with our second.
One bright sunny afternoon, my husband comes running in from outside. "Where's my gun?"
The neighborhood we lived in wasn't really bad, but the surrounding areas were, so I was kinda freaked. Panicking, I asked, "What's wrong, should I call 911" "Don't go outside" he said with a crazed look in his eyes.

He had his gun and went back outside. After a few minutes, I didn't hear anything. I cautiously went outside. When I did, I nearly died laughing at the sight of him.
He had assumed the "freeze-or-I'll-blow-your-head-off cop shooting stance... at a spider. Yes a spider. It had made a web from the bushes to the front of his van. I shook my head, called him an idiot and told him he can't just shoot a spider, especially within city limits.

I grabbed the web with the length of my forearm and took it off of his van and wrapped it on the the bushes, all the while, he has the gun pointed at the spider ready to save me. Then made him go inside the house to think about what he had just done.


You think THAT'S bad.... sigh.. you are sadly mistaken.


Another time, in the same house, the was a spider in the ceiling in our room. I wanted to save it and throw it outside, where he could shoot it later. But he insisted on killing it. So, I left the room to find something so I could save it and he grabbed him his... can of Raid.

He sprayed it. It did not die. He sprayed it again, this thing seemed to have a bowl of Raid to drink out of daily, because it wouldn't die. So, Don decided to use his lighter to burn it. I think he singed it's leg, but still, would not die. Being the guy that he is, Don made a blowtorch out of the Raid and his lighter. Yeah, I'm so proud!

That got the spider off of the ceiling. When it fell on the nightstand, it was still crawling. Don torched it again.. I think this mutant spider came from the sun, cause it just wouldn't die. FINALLY, Don got smart and smashed it with a shoe.. but it was still twitching and stuck to the bottom of the shoe. I grabbed the shoe, took it outside and pounded it on the pavement to put it out of it's misery.

Since then, if he sees a spider in the house, he doesn't tell me about it, he just takes great delight in killing it. I will still save them when I can.