Saturday, November 29, 2008

I'm so evil

When my son was 4, (he's 17 now :( ) I asked him what he wanted Santa to bring him for Christmas.
He said, "Rocks."
I thought, that's odd, so I said, "Anything else?"
He said "Sticks"
At this point, it was all I could do to keep from laughing so I pried a little more
"Is that all, just rocks and sticks"



Nodding his head he confirmed, "Rocks, sticks,and grass."

That's ALL you want Santa to bring you?

"Nope, I want ants, too"

"Ok so just so we make sure Santa understands what you want, the ONLY thing you want him to bring you is 'Rocks, sticks, grass, and ants' Right?"


Being the good Santa, and perpetual smartass that I am, on Christmas eve, I got a shirt box and I filled it with his heart's desires, minus the ants of course, but added dirt for good measure.

We hid all of his other presents and when the kids (my oldest child, my daughter, was 5 at the time) came out Christmas morning, we began to hand all of her presents to her and stack them around her. We then handed him his only present. He ripped it open and got excited for a moment, then disappointed because there were no ants. I explained that it was too cold and Santa probably couldn't find any. He was happy with that answer. He then began to look around to open other presents. When he saw he didn't have any more he sat for a minute and watched his big sister continue to open and squeal with delight at the things she was getting.

Then, it happened, his lower lip came out so far you could land a 747 on it. The tears began to roll down his cheeks. When I asked him what was wrong, all he could do was point at his sister. I said "Santa brought you everything you asked for, he brought her everything she asked, you shouldn't be sad." But he said "I want t-t-t-t-toys" I couldn't contain myself any longer, I busted out laughing and brought out all of his other presents. He has since learned what the phrase "be careful what you ask for, you just might get it" means.

I think I deserved the Motha of the Year Award that year.

Have you played any mean practical jokes on your kids?

Oh.. the pic is of him when he was about 2 ... it doesn't really show his lower lip sticking out there like a runway.. but it did!


Babbington said...

Again, another nugget of parenting advice finds its way into my 'Book For Future Reference: Parenting Skills'. Thanks!

You are very, very mean Dizz but - as my mind is clearly just as warped as yours - very funny with it :-D

dizzblnd said...

Ha! Warped is so much more fun than normal huh?

Julia said...

What a GREAT parenting lesson. How long is his list these days?

dizzblnd said...

LOL... um so far.. he has only asked for 1 thing.. andit's actually affordable

acute_disaster said...

Lol. How mean!

After all those times I've asked my parents for a specific thing...they got me it.

(and every time I thought there was NO way in the world they'd get me that item because I thought it'd be too over the top and ridiculously expensive...)

I'm lucky to have parents like them.

Although, I already know the one thing I asked for, I'm not getting.

Maybe I can think of something else that's not furry and has a heartbeat.

Maybe I'll just ask for a clump of horse poo. That's easy and affordable, right?

But I'll be sure to keep those evil tricks in mind for kids of my own (that is, if I have any). Mwhahaha.

Happy holidays.


dizzblnd said...

hmmmmmmmm horse poo..

Chris C said...

hehe great lesson!

Vodka Mom said...

that was great!

SheBloggs said...

I can't wait to have kids. (MMmuuuaahhhh! ::Dr. Evil::)

Kate said...

That is too funny...I can't believe you did that, but you held out pretty long.

dizzblnd said...

I do have a mean, evil sadistic streak. But that's what makes me interesting and feared bbbuuuuwwwwwaaahhhhaaahhhaaa

darsden said...

That is hilarious... I don't ever remember hearing or reading a mom gave what the kid "actually" ask for from santa... priceless... I clicked see...

dizzblnd said...

I'm impressed darsden thank you and thanks for following me

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