Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Have a "happy period?"

What the hell kind of a sadistic male moron thought of this stupid oxymoron.
Apparently, he was raised by his father, has no sisters, lived in a cave all of his life and is either gay, unmarried, no kids, never dated or all of the above. OR
It's some bitch that came up with that stupid phrase and has found the best drugs, is hoarding them and refuses to share her secret. Either way, I wanna throw my TV out the window when that commercial comes on.

I hate when that bitch Aunt Flo visits. She is due here any day. I do not really keep track of when this unwanted visitor is due for her next visit. (My family can sure as hell tell) What I do notice, (after she gets here) is that the week before she visits, I am accident prone. I drop almost everything I pick up (sometimes more than once) I bang my head, I hit my knee... give myself a fat lip with my cell phone (don't ask) you get the picture. I get so many bruises I look like I'm an abused housewife. Normally, I am not like this, but I do recall last month having the same problem right before the bitch gets here. Then once she's here.. I somehow find my grace. Weird huh?

I also get REALLY tired.. I get very angry, bitchy, cranky, irritable, unlivablewith, boo-hooey as well.. it sucks.. men don't know how lucky they are. I have to control myself to keep from killing everyone in the house because they are pissing me off so bad! I remind me (and my family, I'm sure) of Katie Kaboom You remember her don't you? The psycho, unstable ready to blow at any minute teenager. Well, that's me, only in adult form.

Sometimes I come home early from work. It's either that or I bite everyone's head off especially when on the phone with one of these idiots and risk getting fired, or come home, take a Valium and chill here with you guys. I would love a big ole bottle of Valium and lots of vodka in my desk drawer, however, they frown upon that kind of thing at work. Bastards.

I have endometriosis . It is VERY painful for the first 2-3 days of the cycle. I want to rip my ovaries out. Valium seems to be the only thing that helps after the initial 3 days... then I am "ok" again... (whatever OK is) Now I see why moms of the 60's and 70's and even now are addicted.

If only everyone would do things MY way for 1 week, the world would be a better place.


HorribleLicensePlates said...

Ugh, I hate those "have a happy period" commercials too. They are terrible.

dizzblnd said...

Maybe I need that PMS24/7 plate

Tamara said...

Have a happy period?

Say what?

Whoever came up with that must be a man. They should let us all loose on him. We'd have that slogan changed in about 2 seconds flat!

dizzblnd said...

LOL it'd be something like.. "I have PMS and a handgun, any more stupid questions?"

Poetry Sue said...

LOL a happy period indeed.. what next? a relaxing heart attack?

dizzblnd said...

Relaxing hearty attack! Way funny... All of us women should get together and write Always a letter.. it'd be funny as hell

  © Blogger templates 'Sunshine' by 2008

Back to TOP