Friday, August 7, 2009

Snap back to reality..

I am back, oh joy. I returned Tuesday, but had no internet. Thank you for all the comments and everyone who stopped by to check on and party with my kids. Luckily, there was no crime scene tape or a bloody massacre upon my return from Miami. I will post pics another day. Today, I wanted to share with you some things I learned whilst punishing my liver, making an ass of myself and getting sunburned.

In Miami,

Hotel sex is WONDERFUL!

You don't use turn signals. This:
A) Pisses people off
B) Confuses them because they have no idea what they are used for
C) Causes the people to slow down or speed up to impede your lane change

People do NOT look before pulling out from a side street or and exit on to a busy road while pulling a boat behind them (or any other time for that matter)

People will cut you off on a main highway in busy traffic without warning (yeah.. this happens everywhere, but it is WAY worse down there.

My SIL Shelly made a wonderful observation about the flow of traffic on Ocean Dr (main Drag on South Beach)
Taxi, Mercedes, '82 Honda, Ferrari, Motorcycle, Stretch Limo, skateboard ...etc

The "Can you spare a dollar for a burger" lady has more singles than any stripper.

People DO speak English.

The step up in the bathroom at the Sea Cafe is MUCH more difficult to navigate after the 2nd espresso martini .

You should ALWAYS have a designated Tweeter when driving, you never know when inspiration hits. I was Shelly's DT.

My kids didn't miss me AT ALL.

My animals missed me more than they did.

I SO did NOT want to come back home.

I want to go back there ASAP with more time, more money and when hubs is NOT working.

The to do list actually was completed. I was very impressed

There ya go peeps. If you ever get the opportunity to go there TAKE IT! Take NO kids.

I will post pics tomorrow.


Eileen said...

I am counting down the years until kid free vacations!!! And...

until I can pack their little butts off to college for a little reality check on their own. Miami sounds fabulous! I have yet to find a place where they do use turn signals.

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dizz said...

Kid free vaycays are wonderful! Weird, but wonderful. I hope you get to go soon!

ReformingGeek said...

This thing "turn signal"? Huh? Oh, wait. It's that lever on the steering wheel that goes up and down. Sheesh.

Glad you're back and your home is intact, your pets returned, and your teenagers are out of jail.....


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blognut said...

The funniest thing happened to me while I was reading this post.

I read "hotel sex is wonderful you don't use turn signals"

And I wondered if I was missing something. 'Cause I don't use turn signals during sex at home either. Only in the car, and only if my but hits the turn signal, do I ever use turn signals during sex.

Skylers Dad said...

Posting pics of the hotel sex? (clicking heels together and wishing)

Guest said...

Hotel sex is not so great..if you're the one sitting in the car for 20 minutes, in the parking lot..waiting..trying NOT to think about it..
..and guys just ended up talking! Or did you just tell me that to spare me therapy sessions?
Thanks for going, had so much fun!

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Mike said...

When you give the people who want money for a hamburger an actual hamburger, they get pissed ;)

Recent blog:=- The perfect poo

dizz said...

OMG you made me spit pepsi and doritos on my monitor! LMAO. You kill me! Iam glad you didn't end up on the side of that truck!

dizz said...

yeah.. somehow they managed to post bond without me.....hmmmmmmmm

Remember when itwas ONLY the turn signal in the steering column and the bright light switch was on the floor... do you know how hard it is too get your foot out of the steering column area after changing the brights?

dizz said...

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I'll let ya wonder bout that one for a while. We need todo that again soon!

dizz said...

I dunno Chris.. how much $$$$ you got? ;)

dizz said...

I know it! One time, (not at band camp) I bought a homeless lady lunch and she looked at me like I grew a penis out of my forehead

otin said...

Kids miss their mother when...
The food runs out,
The money runs out
or they are in trouble with the law!!

Recent blog:=- Honest Scrap

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