Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Tequila; the mind eraser, blackmailer



Friday night I went out to save my cousin. She was trapped at the VFW with her in-laws, mother and husband. My husband is working out of town. Yes! He got a job! Woooooooohoooooooooooo


I had not eaten. I know I know. But whaddaya gonna do? I started the night with a Tequila Sunrise. She was drinking Vodka a grape juice. We had 2 shots of tequila each. Her husband ordered a frozen pizza, I had 2 pieces so I could have SOMETHING in my stomach.


We got bored there and went to the Moose Lodge. Wooooooooooooohooooooooooo big party animals my cousin and I are. Stuck with the old people. I don't remember too much from the Moose. I remember requesting a song to sing on scaryoke. However, it wasn't the song I wanted to sing. I requested True Colors, but what my cuz and I wanted to sing was Time After Time. I remember saying into the mic, "That's not how this song goes" I think my cousin called me a dumbass and told me I requested the wrong song. Somehow we made it through.


Apparently we then started throwing down the F-bomb. Now if you are familiar with any of these places, you know they allow NO cussing. Her husband AKA The Chaperon (yeah me and my cuz should NEVER be out alone) decided that we had better leave before we got thrown out and banned for good.

Wait!! That's not such a bad idea. The we can never be guilted into going. "I'm sorry, I'dlove to go, but we have been banned remmeber?"



They drop me off at home and I stumble inside. My daughter thinks I am faking being drunk. I asked her multiple times if she had dinner. She told me she ate raman noodles. She refused to make me any. So I made a bowl of cereal which she carried out for me. I ate it and then took off my pants. She says "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" All the while laughing. Then I attempted to take my shirt off. I got stuck. After I got it off, I sat there on the couch in my white bra and black panties with my heels together by my butt so my legs were spread apart. My head propped up on my hand. Then, the blackmail picture was taken. Yep, my daughter, my own flesh and blood snapped a picture on her cell phone of me in all of my drunken glory. I would post it here but, I want you to continue to read my blog, not run away screaming never to return.

Shortly after, I went to bed and demanded that she leave the hallway on. Yeah.. I forgot to say light. My bedroom is across the hall from the guest bathroom and closer than my master bath. I wanted a clear lighted path in case I had to get there quickly.

Instead, I forget and went stumbling into my bathroom, and almost fell. I somehow made it back to my bed and passed out.

Saturday was rough!

From what I was told, I had a great time!

25 comments:

Eileen said...

No cussing at the moose lodge? Very strange.

The Queen said...

wow.. you are a party animal...

Recent blog:=- Well shit.. this sucks


Recent blog:=- Well shit.. this sucks

Skylers Dad said...

I haven't had a good bender in a long time, good or you!

quirkyloon said...

tick tock tick tock

It's just a matter of time before we have the pleasure of seeing that pic!

bwahahahahahahahaha

used cars cooperstown said...

Those closest know how to hurt the worst. That blackmail photo is priceless.

ReformingGeek said...

She took a picture??? YIKES!

You could have at least been wearing a black bra!

Recent blog:=- Run, Run, Run Away

Slyde said...

no cussing? r u kidding me?


i wouldnt last 5 fucking minutes....

dizz said...

I dunno, maybe it's a Southern thing. None of the old people clubs like cussing

dizz said...

Well... I think it's about time.. don't you??

dizz said...

yep.. you and I would get along wonderfully!

dizz said...

Well.. lol.. had I known.... i might have mad sure I matched.

dizz said...

I am sure it will be... she sent it to my mom. YAY!

dizz said...

I seriously considered putting it onhere.. but figured I had too much self respect. Yeah right

dizz said...

I know that's right!

The Peach Tart said...

I just discovered your blog and was cracking up reading it. I had no idea those Mooses were so uptight. I mean really how can you get drunk and not cuss? I have to admit that my daughter has some pretty embarassing drunk pics of me taken on her cell phone too. The little brat tries to blackmail me.

blognut said...

How many times do I have to tell ya'? No drinking on an empty stomach! And, no matter how great of an idea it sounds at the time, NO SHOTS! NEVER!

otin said...

If my Mother did that, the last thing that I would do would to be to grab a camera! I would grab a stake and drive it through my fucking temple! LMAO! Ewww the thought! LOL!

Recent blog:=- Rhyming Wednesday #7

dizz said...

awwwwwwww come oooooooooon how else am I supposed to entertain myself (and others) .lol
I will TRY to heed your advice next time.. I am promising NOTHING though!


Recent blog:=- Tequila; the mind eraser, blackmailer

dizz said...

I am so glad you found me and like me! I am stalking you too.

I guess they expect the old people to be polite.. they forget us young whippersnappers can be signed in too.

Recent blog:=- Tequila; the mind eraser, blackmailer

dizz said...

You are soooooooo dramatic. too funny

Recent blog:=- Tequila; the mind eraser, blackmailer

Guest said...

Didn't have time to read post. Off to bed. Just wanted to say HI!!!!!!!!

vodkamom said...

that was me - vodkamom!!!!!!

p-huong said...

LOL. I wish my mom could drink like you. She passes out after one beer. Luckily, I inherited my father's drinking genes.

Recent blog:=- Welcome to my crib.

Christina said...

I get very very friendly when I drink. In the situation you describe, I'd either have to have the Cowboy with me or I'd have to be peeled off various people: male and female. Sounds like you had a blast.

dizzblnd said...

It was a blast! Now I KNOW I wish you lived closer!

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