Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Not a long rant, Hell, it's not even a rant.

Ok Monday I posted a rather long rant about my job. Today is not a rant.. but rather a few funny things that were said by my customers or those of my co-workers just yesterday.

These were mine:

Me: Thank you for calling this is Dizzblnd, how can I help you?
Customer: (chuckling) Hi my name's Mike* and I'm a dumbass

All together now HIIII MIKE!

Me: (laughing) How may I help you
Mike: Uhhhh Yeah I just went about 80 through your Sunpass toll booth and I just realized I don't have my Sunpass (Sunpass is the
Prepaid Toll Program thingie here in Florida for those of you who want to know but too lazy to click on the link)
Me: I'm sorry, you have the wrong number, this is the place you call before you dig.
Mike: Oh, now I really feel like a dumbass. What do I do now?
Me: Just sit back and wait for the ticket to come in the mail I guess
Mike: Now I feel like an asshole I was trying to do the right thing. I'm on vcation now so I really don't care. Oh well I just wanted to call and confess my sin to someone and I didn't think 911 would appreciate it. Thanks I feel much better now!
Me: Ok you have a great day! (I wanted to tell him "you are absolved my son")

Last callers Son:

Me: How deep will you be digging at the deepest?
Customer: Northwest

Another caller:

Customer: That's 1234 Wildwood St. That's W-I-L-D-W-Zero-Zero-D


But wait!!! There's more!

Caller: Hi, the last number I got for AT&T wasn't valid, do you have a different number?
Me: The only number I have is 1-555-555-5555
Caller: That's not the same number that I have
Me: I'm sorry, I didn't know what number you already had, didn't you say you wanted a DIFFERENT number?
Caller: er um yes thank you click

Last caller's brother:

Co-worker: How deep will you be digging at the deepest?
Customer: 2 weeks

I wonder how deep he'll be in 2 weeks?

I could have sworn TODAY was April fools day.. what do I know? (AGAIN NOT A WORD!)

*Name changed to protect the dumbass innocent My apologies to any non-dumbass Mikes out there

Happy Birthday Crotchety Old Man!


Me-Me King said...

Put these guys on speaker phone and get a webcam - I wanna watch.

ReformingGeek said...

I hope the next caller isn't expecting suicide prevention!


I like gmail's April Fool's joke this year.

Rachel said...

See, from what you blog, I think this job sounds perfectly enjoyable.


dizzblnd said...

Margo: THAT would be a good idea for a reality show wouldn't it?

RG: Yeah.. It would suck to be him.. Iwould tell him to go ahead and jump! What Joke did gmail play?

Rachel: LMAO you bettr duck woman! Actually I LOVE my job.. I have been here 9 years.. benefits pay and location are awesome (it's a 45 second dr or a 2 minute walk from my house)

blognut said...

The guy who is digging 2 weeks deep made me snort out loud. I think I inhaled something.

dizzblnd said...


Shawn said...

Ha, you really should have used the "you are absolved, my son" line. That guy sounds like he would have appreciated the joke.

SkylersDad said...

You really need to write a book about this job, you could retire!

dizzblnd said...

Shawn.. My team leader said the same thing.. and you're right.. he would have loved it.. but with my luck that was the call that was being monitored for quality assurance

Chris.. funny you should say this.. I was thinking about starting a whole other blog on my experiences

Anonymous said...

Apology accepted!


Happy April Fool's Dizzie! Hope you get pranked all day long!

hee hee

dizzblnd said...

QL.. just don't calleth my call center ;)

Riff Dog said...

Oh, I think most Mike's are dumbasses, so you're okay using that name. Now, if you had said Riff . . .

Chele said...

I love reading calls like that, it makes me feel so smart

dani c said...

Sounds like fun Dizz...this is why I cant be a phone person. I'd eff them up each and everytime for fun..Of course I'd have no job soon after either.

dizzblnd said...

Riff: Oh Good.. and "riff" is never on my list of alias's so I think you are ok there

Chele..But you ARE smart ;)

Dani; I had a call yesterday I wanted to lose my job over... too bad I'm broke

The Queen said...

Again.. I want the dumbass award.. they won't let me be a humor blogger.. so I want the dumb ass award.. please email me your work number so I can call you.. I'll be digging up at the deepest... and it's on the corner of kansas and omaha... can I dig?

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