A while back, I had a very stressful couple of days. My then 16 year old son asked me to buy condoms for him. I said, "but you are only 4 years old! You don't even know what a condom is much less what to use it for other than water balloons!" I get a rolling of the eyes followed by "Mooooooooooooom" Now I am proud that my kids can come to me for anything, but THIS? That's why you go to dad, to get high fives and way to go's and all that testosterone induced grunting. I called my mom for advice, of course she laughed cause that's what moms do.
I tracked down my best friend who was on the football field with her 13 year old son who had already lost his virginity (sigh he was 2 when I met them). She understood though. She said I should make HIM buy them. So I called him and told him if he wanted them he was going to have to buy them and I didn't want to know. I also told him despite what he thought, he was NOT Magnum size. So he bought them. As far as I know he has not used them and is still a virgin. Hands over ears ~LALALLALAALA~ shut up, I'm NOT naive, just hopeful.
After my initial shock and acceptance, I was anxious..
So after work the next day, I was sitting on the couch watching TV.. I was antsy. I jumped up, grabbed my keys and left. I didn't know where I was going, I just had to GO.. ya know? I ended up at Bed, Bath and Beyond where I spent $250. Then to Ross, another $75, then to Old Navy, grand total there $0.56 (I had a $50 gift card that I kept forgetting about.)
It was weird, but I felt SO much better. When I called my S-I-L who knew what was going on, she described my actions as "Retail Therapy". I didn't really know it had a name. It all makes sense now. I'm glad this therapy exists
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34 comments:
Being a mom must be really hard at times.
Its also kinda sad how young kids are "experimenting" and doing sexual stuff *sigh*
Damn, this is a moment a mother definitely DOESN'T want to know about! But, are you kidding me, Dizzblnd? You're just figuring out the calming affects of retail therapy? How do you think I keep from being an alcoholic? I mean, a raging one?
You mean if I'd had kids, I could have had a ready-made excuse for more shoes? Dang!
I know it brazen.. they should come out with water tight manuals when they are born!!
Sady scandy.. yes.. I am always broke so I rely drugs and alcohol to soothe me ;)
Oh hell there is NO exuse for retail therapy. You should have told him you needed his help somewhere and dragged him off to a sex ed class or something! lmao
Good kid. I'm 40 and I still don't talk about sex with my Mom.
Retail has saved my sanity many times. Just check my credit score if you want proof. :D
What happened to the days when boys would just steal condoms?
OMG...13...oooh the babies grow up so fast. Kudos to you for raising children that will come to you when they have questions or just need condoms ;-) Fantastic new age coming up!
AAHHHH!!!! I'm not ready for this!
He he he, way to go Mom! I think it is great that he could ask you.
Wow buying a condo at age 16? I say more power to him! Excellent! Oh wait...not condo, but condum...
NEVER MIND! heh heh
You handled it a lot better than I would have! *smile*
and clothes and jewelry.. all kinds of good stuff.. I can send you The Boy if you'd like
LOL .. how do you think he got the idea in the first place! Hopefully he is still a virgin is all I can say
really? My mom just covers her ears and says something about puppies and rainbows..
Wow, I would have sooner made my own condom with latex and glue then ask my mom to buy them for me. We definitely did not have that type of relationship. Still don't!
I dunno Rachel sometimes I don't know which of the lesser 2 evils I perfer
Thanks.. we tried very hard.. it wasn't easy.. it has paid off tremendously
if you want, I can send him to you so he can tell you the stories he doesn't tell me.. then you'll be prepared maybe
tHANKS cHRIS, i THINK IT IS A WONDERFUL THING TOO.. BUT ONE OF THOSE THINGS i WISH HE DIDN'T THINK ABOUT YA KNOW?? Stupid caps lock
At that point, I wish it were a condo! You'd be surprised at how well you handle some things like that... I was
Lmao Shawn too funny. I'm sorry your mom and you don't have that kind of relationship. Thats a bummer
WOW!!! And I thought only dating loser dudes caused the need for retail therapy... dang it... My son will never grow up!!
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Wow. My son is 7. I cannot imagine. I think when the time comes (when he is 40!!) I will do the same as you - hands over ears & "LALALALALALALALALALA"!!!
My boy hasn't come to me yet asking for condoms and if he did I would happily take him to the nearest drugstore and watch him purchase them, just to make sure. His girlfriend is on the pill however though they maintain their viriginity. I know lalalalalala.
I have a closet full of shoes representing both divorces and years of raising kids. Welcome to the club.
EW. Hunter bought condoms?!
LALALALALALALALALALALLALALLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
LALLALALALLALALA!!!!!
The "Awesome Mom of the Year Award" goes to...*drum roll*........you!!!
Thanks for a great laugh!
believe me sue... I thought that too.. but you blink and boom there is too much testosterone and wild hair
My mom used to always tell me I would be 40 before she would allow me to do anything! I never understood why.. until now
Thanks for the welcome Jen! What's the membership fee? Free I hope because my kids suck every last damn dime out of me
yeaaaaaaaaaaah I thought you knew sorry you had to learn like this
Thanks!! good to see you! I was wondering where you were hiding... did you see your Mad lib?
I didn't realize there was a boy who would approach his mother about these needs. Wow. If I had known, I would have waited. Instead, I bought the rubbers and embarrased the hell out of my boys.
Can't blame me for not covering the bases with those guys.
Great reason for retail therapy. Oh, my dog is disappointing me. I think I'll go run to the mall....
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He's a good kid.. his hormones are driving me crazy though.. too much drama.. you want him?
Just kidding I love him and wouldn't trade him for the world!
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