Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Happy Humpday!

So here it is Humpday....again. You sit here bleary eyed, 1 eye open, waiting for the coffee to brew. Check your email, forward some email.. post a blog or 2 then head to Twitter. OH yeah you hafta pee! Then you get in the shower 'cause you're still not awake..hoping it will wake you up... it doesn't. So you put on your shirt inside out. The hem of your skirt tucked neatly in the back of your pantyhose. Before you can drive your car, you have to scrape this stuff called snow? off of your windshield. (that's what my northern friends tell me anyway)

Then you all safely travel to your 8-5. Fighting all of the non-drivers in your state. You know you can drive better than they can, why don't they understand that? Why can't they take lessons from you as you drive with your knees, eat your breakfast burrito with one hand, talk on the cellphone while it's on speaker, (because you're a safe driver) and put mascara on with the other hand. All while driving in the "go fast" lane where the speed limit is 70, but you are a safe driver so you state 10 miles below the posted speed limit. So you can safely drink your coffee without scalding yourself in the crotch. Now that you are done putting on your mascara, your other hand is free to flip off the drivers as they flash their brights at you to get out of the way and then angrily plow past you while flicking YOU off. You finally arrive at your jobs where you won't get motivated until after lunch, won't get started on any of your work til 3, get bored with that, gossip with your co-workers for the next hour or until the boss catches you. You hurriedly change the subject to work related stuff (like your boss is stupid and thinks you were talking about work to begin with) then realize that you have an hour left and can't figure out why you got nothing done. You have the nerve to ask your boss for overtime to "finish-up." You then call your spouse to tell him or her you are "swamped" and will be a little late.

Me? I live right around the corner from where I work. So often, I find myself here, with you guys, laughing, joking, blogging then look at the clock, realize it's 7:45, I have to be at work at 8 and I haven't even gotten in the shower yet. So I take a 6 min shower, wash everything twice, mostly because I forget if I washed that part, but often because I LIKE washing that part (giggity giggity) It's a 3 minute walk or a 45 second drive to my office. I have to wear office appropriate attire (heels, pantyhose etc..) so I take that 45 second drive. I cuss at the two cars that I have to wait to pass before I can make my turn onto the road where my job is. I haul ass there because I piddle around until 7:56 and can't figure out why I forget crap (cell phone, bra etc.. lol ok well not my bra, but you get the picture.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go outside and warm up my car, turn on the heated seat for 30 minutes so I can make that 45 second drive to work

Have a great Humpday!


kateykates said...

LOL. That's funny! Have a great day!

Anonymous said...

BB (Before Blogs) I was in love with a women's only health chat room. We'd meet every morning until panic time when I'd realize it was time to spray my hair into it's helmet shape and warm up the car. I felt like I was leaving I blog.....and I'm retired..... = NO LIFE

SkylersDad said...

Great stuff, I love how you are able to multitask so well!

Lee the MWOB Queen said...

Reading this makes me realize I'm happy to not be getting ready to see anyone and I have no commute to deal with....but then again it would be motivation to get out of my pj's before noon...


*Just Jen* said...

LOL! I know the feeling! My drive is exactly four minutes and I still manage to be ten minutes late every morning!

dizzblnd said...

Katey Thank you. Nice to see you :)

Dana.. I envy you .. how'd I'd love to be able to sit in front of my puter all day and think up great stuff to post like you do!

WYD Takes a LOT of pratice to do it without wrecking!

Lee.. BITE me.. grumble PJs all day sigh

Jen. Oh good! I am glad I am not alone on this!

Jen said...

I'm so glad I work upstairs. I get out of bed at the crack of 5, raise the kids, get them out as soon as possible and then Matt Lauer and I have coffee. I check my blogs, email, consider taking a's nice. Now if the kids would stop trying to get back in the house it would be heaven.

Pearl said...

:-) I am so in the wrong line of work!

Da Old Man said...

giggety giggety--LOL

Ok, that's all I can think about now.


Julia@SometimesLucid said...

You forgot to mention the hours spent looking at people's blogs and on facebook.

Anonymous said...

I am so upset that I can't rest. All I have to say to you is this:
Thank you. Your words were needed and are appreciated.

ReformingGeek said...

The shower for the that's a great idea!

Be careful on that commute!

Tamara said...

Mwahahahah... happy Humpday to you too ;-)

Do you have an email address on your blog? Looked but couldn't see one. Please drop me a line at - have a question for you.


dizzblnd said...

Jen.. LOL I hope you at least throw some scraps out to the kids every once in a while! Isn't weird how gross we always feel when we don't shower, yet we have no problems NOT taking on

Da Old Man: You are so very welcome ;)

Julia... I KNEW I was forgetting something! BTW.. you're slipping.. you weren't 1st commenter ;P

Dana.. don't let one ignorant person bring you down.. they are miserable in life because THEY are the ones who seek out something to bitch about.. like one of your other commenters said. Chin up

RG: I LOVE my showerhead er I mean shower.. I will try to be careful today

Tamera I emailed you ;)

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