Monday, November 10, 2008

Dumbass telelmarketer


The following conversation actually happened between myself and a telemarketer not too long ago..

ME: Hello?

Stupid Telemarketer: May I speak to the lady of the house?

Me: (because if they are calling here, they better damn well know who they are calling)
Do you have a name?

Dumbass: I'm sorry?


ME: I need to know the name of the person you are trying to reach


Stupid: I just need to speak to the lady of the house please.


ME: You really need to be more specific, may I have a name please?


Shit for brains: I don't have a name, I just need to speak to the lady of the house.


ME: Well, there are LOT of "ladies of the house" here, that's why I need a name.

Stupid Dumbass: I'm sorry I don't understand

ME: This is a whorehouse, there are about 50 ladies of the house here, now with which one would you like to speak

Stupid dumbass shit for brains: Uh.. um.... 'Click'






Needless to say, I have not received another call from that number.
Hopefully, her experience with change the company's dialog when the computer autodials.

Feel free to use this dialog if you ever get the opportunity.. it's lots of fun!

14 comments:

Brad said...

I HATE telemarketers!

Slyde said...

thats great...

whenever a telemarketer calls me, i always start talking in a ridiculous, obviously made up, baby voice, and say...

"my mommy and daddy awent home wight now"....

then they hang up, bewildered...

dizzblnd said...

OH good one! I will have to remember that one!

SheBloggs said...

I get those "lady of the house" calls too. It's like, no I don't want a credit card, or sign up for Better Homes & Garden!

Poetry Sue said...

I am soooo going to use that next time one of those boogers calls. LOL

Babbington said...

Excellent! I wonder whether that technique translates over here? I'm sure it must do.

A friend of mine once got just such a call. She was so fed up of receiving them from the company in question that she decided to waste their time one day...

So, the call came and part way through she said announced "Oh, wait, there's somebody at the door. Can you hang on?" They did. For 45 minutes... while she carried on with her household chores.

When she picked up the phone again, the voice at the other end said "So, would you be interested in discussing our services?"

"No thanks."

'Click'.


Genius! :-)

dizzblnd said...

Shebloggs.. Feel free to improvise on it as well.. you'd be great!


Babbington.. I hope you can translate it!

I would have loved to been a fly on wall at your friends house! How funny!

kateykates said...

Ha! So funny! My hubby always get calls that tell him he's won something. I can always tell he's gotten one of these calls because all of a sudden he exclaims, "wow....awesome!, Honey.....we won a trip! Where do you want to go!?" I always shake my head and feel sorry for the person on the other end.

Just a Blogger said...

My favorite thing to do is to hand the phone to my two year old daughter and watch the delight on her face because she thinks that someone called her.

dizzblnd said...

That's AWESOME! I'll have to borrow someone's toddler the next time. Sounds like a lot of fun to watchtheir face.

darsden said...

I am using this next time one of those dumbasses call me !!!

darsden said...

still clicking... but not to the septic tank... I have a weak tummy... been with Vodka Mom all day..!

dizzblnd said...

Please feel free to.. its losta fun!

Tell her I said hello!

Skye said...

OMG Dizz, this is priceless, next time I get a live operator I'll have to use that! Thank you sooooo much for the link :)

Recent blog:=- Every Win Something?

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