Friday, March 27, 2009

Gross shit you wish you didn't know


The Hussy, with her Friday Facts has inspired and even given me permission to do my own Friday series. Thanks Hussy!

During an hour of swimming at a public pool u will ingest 1/12 urine. Blech! Note to self: Never go to water parks A GAIN

In an average day your hand will have come indirect contact with 15 penises. Hmmmmm I only work with 8 men... I wonder who elses penis they have touched

Annually you will have shaken hands with 11 women and 6 men who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands. Puppies and Rainbows! .. that is something I SO did not need to know!

At a wedding reception u have a 1/100 chance of getting a cold sore from one of the guests. My guess would be that it's probably the bride, the whore.


Happy National Joe Day Crotchety Old Man! I got you a card:

23 comments:

Shawn said...

Oh man, none of the Facts grossed me out like that card for Crotchety.

dizzblnd said...

LMAO Shawn I couldn't resist it!

Quirkyloon said...

Well Dizzie.

Well.

:vomit

Well.

Thanks for helping me purge...I think!

LMBO

dizzblnd said...

Just call me your weight loss partner Quirky!

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Blecch, blecch and yucky poo.

Heck, 15 penises?! I haven't even touched my husband's!! That's gotta be a record.

Jenn Thorson said...

I am now very scared for my next hand-shaking business meeting... :)

Scandalous Housewife said...

Dammit, Dizzblnd!

La,la,la, I can't hear you...

ReformingGeek said...

I think we're safer if we just hug everyone but that might be a big uncomfortable in the workplace.

Dang!

Crotechy's card is....um.....nice!

Lana said...

So... does that mean that women masturbate more than men, or wash their hands less than men... Just sayin...

Me-Me King said...

I live alone, in the middle of nowhere. Where do you think these 15 penises may come from that I touch...indirectly? Thanks a lot, this will bug me throughout the entire weekend.

I have no words for the card other than it made me feel self-conscience.

dizzblnd said...

Mary: With all that has been going on with you, I'm not surprised.. maybe you should go do it now while you're thinking about it

Jenn: Maybe you can bring an assistant like Monk to hand you some wipes after. :)

Scandy: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh you love it and you know it! LOL

RG: I love hugs.. especially with the guys, I'd just kick the women in the shins as a greeting. We are all bitches anyway


Lana: Hmmmmmmm good point.. another reason to have an assistant hand you some wipes after a meeting

Me-me: Something creepy to ponder indeed. Sorry about the card.. I couldn't resist

Under the Influence said...

Maybe one or two of those 8 men has a double penis. Yikes!

dizzblnd said...

UGH! YIKES is right Jo, because you KNOW they want to use both at the same time... how bout NO

Da Old Man said...

Thanks for the card. Those facts have made me afraid to even think about leaving my house, BTW.

dizzblnd said...

Anytime Joe anytime. Don't be too skeered. Just remember do swim in a public pool, shake anyones hand or dance with the bride. OK OK I see your point

SkylersDad said...

1/12 of what in urine? grams? pints? oh hell, don't even tell me it is quarts!?!

dizzblnd said...

ummmmm i hope that its 1/12 of the lowest measurment possible.. I can imagine theres more in a water theme park

David said...

...."Hmmmmm I only work with 8 men... I wonder who else's penis they have touched?"

I don't think you need to limit that question to men.

Riff Dog said...

Hmmm, sounds like you went to the same wedding last weekend I went to! ;-)

dizzblnd said...

David: Maybe not but oh well Thanks for stopping by

Riff: Ut oh.. you danced with her didn't you? I guess I should have put this fact up last Friday... sorry bout your luck

bernthis said...

bleeechhhhh!!!! I'm never going to a wedding again and I'm NEVER shaking anyone's hand again either.

dizzblnd said...

Jessica: Scary stuff isn't it?

Wendy said...

Yeah, I'm boggled about the 15 penises too. (Wow, I never thought I'd be saying a sentence like that in my life.)

And like Shawn, I am COMPLETELY freaked out by the Old Man card. Bleck.

Just a funny thing... I was at a water park last summer and spent a lot of time in the kiddie pool because I have a toddler plus it's the only shady pool in the park. Apparently they have some sort of "pee alarm" that continually monitors the pool and they will shut the pool down if there is too high a level of urine. One on hand, it's great to know they shut the pool down when the concentration is too high til they get it fixed, but on the other hand it's pretty disturbing knowing they had to SHUT IT DOWN in the first place.

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