Saturday, March 7, 2009

The defintion of irony


Its been a tough few months financially in our household. Much like most of America lately, we have had to make decisions as to what bills get paid and what we have to let get shut off in order to stay out of the red as much as possible. Citifinancial, who held my mortgage at the time REFUSED to help. Of course now that they sold my mortgage, they are offering their customers assistance.. bastards. But that's for a whole other post. Moving on...

DirecTV was the first victim. (Yeah.. like I was gonna let my internet get shut off!) The bastards wouldn't give me an extension.

My husband is a boob tube junkie. He has to have the TV on at ALL times day, night, sleeping, awake, having sex, whether he's inside or outside the TV stays ON almost perpetually. He will surf, stop on something stupid, like a coin auction, then go outside. I will change it to something I like. He will come back in and bitch at me for changing the channel. Shut up guys, you know you do this, just ask your wives/girlfriends. A couple of months ago DirecTV pulled the plug on my husband. He almost flatlined. He fell into a state of slight depression... hmmmmmm maybe I can sue....



Back to my point..


When I came home from lunch one day, he was flipping the channels. On every one we got "channel not purchased." Then suddenly, miraculously, we saw a picture. My husband got excited, so he flipped back. What was on? You guessed it... Home Shopping Network!
He continues to flip.. and the next one an infomercial channel with that weird guy selling Shamwows! Then the commercial for the WTF Blanket

WTF?!? Is this some sick joke? We can't pay the damn bill, you shut off all channels EXCEPT ones that want us to buy shit?? THAT'S bullshit irony. So he settles on the channel with the coin auction and goes back to his shop mancave to pout. I turn it off. He comes in, bitches and turns it back on again. What is it with men and the damn TV? I could care less whether it is on or not as long as I have my internet can spend quality time with my family.

I am happy to report that we DID get the money to pay the bill. My hubby's DT's eventually subsided. The blank stare and subsequent, "you never told me that" has returned and he is just now starting to recover with a LOT of remote control therapy.

12 comments:

Under the Influence said...

Some of our best years were when we did NOT have cable! Every now and then I think about getting rid of it, but then I think about all the shows I could not watch....

Marinka said...

Please never say "internet access" and "no" again.

I'm a tv junkie too, so I totally relate!

dizzblnd said...

Jo.. Years without cable.. GASP no rehab. I am glad you survived

Marinka.. Sorry.. I didn't mean to scare you. Thanks for dropping by ;)

ReformingGeek said...

I've been told "it's background noise". Sometimes, it's just noise.

I like my TV but I prefer it to be on in the evenings only. But life without the Internet would not be worth living.....

;-)

dizzblnd said...

RG: I wholeheartedly agree with you on your last statement. Maybe this is how they feel about the TV

bernthis said...

My ex husband also could not function without the TV going on in the background. To this day, I will not turn on a TV unless I'm watching it, too many bad memories.

Travis Erwin said...

I watch next to no television preferring to spend my free time writing fiction and blog posts therefore torturing those bored enough to read my brain drippings.

Scandalous Housewife said...

Tough times suck!
I don't know what I would do without my internet and mind boggling reality tv!

The Queen said...

I know what you mean, Cletus puts it on the 1852 movie channel (which is free) turns it wide open and falls to sleep.. snoring follows..

I go in, take remote, turn it down to sonic bomb, and to a channel we are actually having to pay for...

two seconds later he sits bolt up and starts bitching...PISSES ME OFF..

and, go check out your soggy doggy on my scroll at the top of my blog.. wait for it to load..


the queen.

Trukindog said...

Well all I know is if I were to lose my DTV I would at least have my stereo remote to ease the withdrawals.

Remo said...

I didn't have TV for awhile. I had to resort to talking to my wife for a change. It only took me a couple weeks to realize the cable was slightly less irritating.

dana said...

I cannot be expected to live without my cable TV and I will shoot any sob who even thinks about taking away my internet. . . .

800 channels with nothing worth watching is good for at least an hour of bitching on my part.

Internet access with absolutely nothing to do (but visit your wonderful blog of course).

Where would we be without it.

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